Being present to all I really am

How do we realize we are so much more than what we think we are, is a change of perception. It is an area I always have loved to dive in to since my early early teens. In periods have I felt the expansion, my limitlessness, my infinite intelligence, the source behind everything, in other times I have felt like a little tight closed ball, stuck in my limiting beliefs, a state where my thoughts have been running the show and I have been trying to figure out my current situation. In other periods it has been a mixture of both and I think it’s quite normal to go back and forward between these states till your awakening are stabilizing itself.

When you enter this human world, You don’t remember anything about who you are, You get glimpses and sensations that you are more than your human state, perhaps through life changing experiences which helps you to expand your consciousness or by being curious, you go back to your normal state, live your life being in charge and control and unaware of your bigger state, sorting things out, sometimes things falls apart, doesn’t work as you thought they would and sometimes you are being forced in to expansion.

The process can be speeded up by unhappiness and a feeling of emptiness, and by what you thought would fulfill you doesn’t actually provided the feeling you thought it would and then your perception are shifting and you are seeking answers and meaning in your current life situation or life in general. Often you are finding answers and are having breakthroughs, you are expanding, it goes back and forth, other times you enter disillusionment and are feeling lost, and are dealing with not having any fixation points to help you…but the feeling of lostness and disillusioned state actually helps you to step in to deep inner work, you may not always see it yourself, it happens inside of you, you sense something is going on and you are in this soup, sometimes hard, strange, alone, but bit by bit you end up in integration, expansion and joy again…

Being at the brink of the dark night of the soul can be the turning point in our expansion. I have had my amount of dark nights of the soul, the feeling of meaninglessness, no matter how hard we try to do the right thing nothing seems to work. We may distract ourself with addictions, the supposedly positive and right things (affirmations, positive outlook on life and so on), ceremonies (cacao, fire, letting go…), too much work and other distractions, nothing seems to work and ease it up, it is first when we surrender, when we give up, let go of the control, say I cannot figure it out, help me, when we realize Im stuck, Im striving, I’m efforting, I have certain habits of thoughts which doesn’t help me, and we may even try to ignore all of it, suppress it and stress it out. But when we feel it, when we acknowledge our pain, our suffering and lostness we are making space for the “call” of awakening.

The surrender is through the pain, the striving, the the the…we are here to realize we are not our limitations, we are not this little tight ball of being stuck, we have inside of us this innate fresh wisdom, this ability to expand and we can allow infinite intelligence flowing through us and guide us towards what we need. We are source energy, the creating force behind everything, the whole of us, we are pure consciousness, like a sun expressing itself through sun rays, the ocean with its waves, the sky and its weather.

How do we know we are this state – this state of who you really are – your true nature – this formless energy, you know it because it is/you are aware, you notice you are aware, an intelligence of all knowing, the one noticing the thinker behind the thinking. Going beyond your limiting beliefs, beyond what is said without the filter of your pain and suffering is to give up the small self.

It’s part of the journey that we forget who we truly are, that we wake up from the thinking we use against ourself, that we see it, and waking up from it helps us to receive the insights, new wisdom and a change in experience. The little self, the tightness, the limiting you, the striving and efforting you, look at it as a state you can use as your helper, your pointer in your expansion and see you are currently in this limited space and you can choose to see yourself in a much broader perspective.

We think we are someone in this moment and have no idea how it will unfold, when we let go (not the same as doing nothing)of the tiny intelligence we allow the energy of all things to breathe through us, inspire us, show us our path, solutions, new wisdom and perspective, it moves us and new desires show up. The little limited one in us wants to keep it as it is, the bigger and true part of ourself wants to expand.

---

---