In between

Deep contemplation lately

The artistic, the creative, the unfolding is also a spiritual process; they go hand in hand. It requires inwardness and calm. There are things that are very difficult to attain if the mind is highly outward-focused. If it has to be outward, organizing, and in contact with a lot of people, that in itself will make a deeper inward process more difficult. This will probably apply to most people, without generalizing. When one reaches a point where one desires a more withdrawn and a contemplative life, one will choose to step away from these very extroverted positions because they will seem disruptive. One is on a different journey. I protect my root chakra, the peace, the stability, which is a very important part of being able to reach a certain depth in the spiritual growth.

When it is windy, it can be difficult to make conscious decisions. I have worked quite a lot on having a brake on myself so I can better manage moving in new directions. It also brings a freedom in life because we have lived through certain processes—some karma, others due to impulsivity and unconsidered decisions, (obligations have been a big part of my life ) and still others because we have not dared to feel ourselves. I am sure that I have had quite a number of life processes that I had to work my way through; regardless, I could not have changed them, no matter the choices and directions. I had to meet them and deal with them. But now a point of freedom has arrived where there are not so many considerations to take into account.

It is a very new place to stand in my consciousness and in my starting point with my life processes. There is an incredible amount of creative energy in my soul that has been lying there, waiting patiently for many, many years. I actually had an artistic career before my children was born and while they were very small, which had to be put on hold when I got divorced. The creativity is now beginning to be able to breathe again.

I love this step toward being able to create and being creative. A large part of my life I have been in a creative, generative process. It gives me life, movement and direction, it nourishes me, brings joy and is very meaningful to me. It has been sitting on the shelf for many, many years while there were life tasks to solve. Now I am freer to define my own tasks.

So, to support my own creative psyche, I have bought two large worktables that will be delivered later today, and I will then have 4.20m / 166 inches of workspace—pure luxury, I will upload a photo of my creative space when I have settled in. It will certainly stimulate and build up that side of me which is artistic and creative. Throughout my life, the periods when I have been highly creative have also been the periods where my spiritual development has grown tremendously. The two go hand in hand in my life.

It is a channel for my inner self, for my development, my artist within, but it also becomes a spiritual practice, a spiritual element in my own story.

The fact that parts of oneself are put aside, such as my artistic/creative side due to life circumstances, does not mean that they are not there. It is simply because one has to take care of other things in life, an aspect many people probably know. But we all have the opportunity at some point in life to bring forward those sides of ourselves that truly nourish us. For me, the above.

The artist is the feminine expression—the ability to stand in the feminine with strength, the fundamental feminine element, as the primal woman, the woman of nature, the original feminine energy, the strength that lies within it. I love connecting with it through the artistic path.

It ignites strength and energy, standing by oneself, deep inner work, women’s work, universal women’s work. It lies deep within my soul, and it has surfaced several times throughout my life. There is enormous spiritual development in connecting with that feminine power which is more universal (a power I have felt strongly in ayahuasca and plant medicine ceremonies in my recent years), where it manifests through cultures, the archetypal feminine energies—strong and powerful, while at the same time carrying gentleness and softness behind the strength—the primal energy, the core of origin through the feminine aspect, which contains diversity and many forms of expression.

I am not talking about man/woman; I am talking about the energy behind the masculine and the feminine. The world is very much outwardly built around the masculine, but we all need a balance of both energies.

And the artistic/creative has always helped me find a better balance, greater freedom in my own inner expression, and a better flow. You may have another area where you feel your expression and its flow. I know I have a great deal of developmental potential through the artistic, which connects even more deeply with the power I have just spoken about.

The strong woman is also the seer.

Creativity, creative power, the artist, the connection to the dynamic feminine energy, the raw, the shamanic, the seer—these are simply words that find their expression through creation. Perhaps you know it… Come with me and work on finding a manifesto for yourself and your surroundings, in your own way, through your own expression and form.

As a fulltime single mother with small children I expressed myself more through the written word through another blog – check it out here aviajaspace

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