That’s family business

Family isn’t always blood, last name, dna or a social construct, it’s determined more by behavior, like loyalty, trust and love. It has taken me many many years to understand this…it is the people standing beside you when no one else is, it is the ones who accept you for the one you are, its about commitment, its about showing up, choosing and seeing you, also the days where you struggle, and its also about who is willing to hold your hand when you need it. Your family is those you know you always can turn to. I have never asked my children to love relatives that don’t see or ask about them….and it’s okay to step back from family.

I think most people working with themselves are aware of that the unhealthy behavior from family didn’t start with the family you were wounded from, it started much earlier in other generations in the lineage, often in both lineages, like attracts like, and we inherit family traumas until one is ending them by healing the trauma, and choosing something else. Your family help you to grow and become a stronger and more sensitive person, and sometimes become someone who wisely choose different in life.

We can forget what other people said and what they did, but I dont think we will forget how they made us feel…you always know when it comes from the heart. We always know who deserves special places in our hearts. An area where you can measure if family members should have a prominent role in your life is the amount of joy they actual add to your life.

I read this quote today : “In family life, love is the oil that eases friction, the cement that binds closer together, and the music that brings harmony”. Eva Burrows. Love is a choice with wide open eyes, choosen moment to moment…

I always wanted to have a big family, a strong bonded family and a family which cares for each other and show vulnerability, affection and love…..I created it myself and that feels good….growing up in a very dysfunctional family with all kinds of issues, it has taken me many years to heal, and grow in to the parent I needed myself, I was brave enough to share my vulnerability with my own children and in this way created a soft place to fall in to for all of us….appreciation, acceptance and being valued are the path to feeling more complete (also in your incompleteness), the feeling of receiving love you have inside no matter the challenges – thats what matters…I know to love unconditionally is a work in progress –

Over the years I have become more and more picky with whom I give my energy to. Time, level of commitment and my spirit are given to those who share the same genuineness. My own little family, my two girls and my cat is the best unit I ever can imagine and have, they are my favorite people in the world, they represent the most beautiful things, people, memories, places, feelings, moments, laughter, depths, vulnerability, integrity, honesty, support and love in life.

Ps. family is more than mother, father, siblings, the extended family its also our pets/animals.

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