When you throw a stone in to the water, everything stir up, perhaps it gets muddy, and you have to wait for the stone to go to the bottom, and then the water becomes clear again.
If you feel you always have had a lot of difficulties and struggles in life, it could be either your birth have been difficult or your mother had a difficult time during the pregnancy or birth and you have inherit the hardship, pain and fear, which plays out in your life. It could also be something running in your lineage, we carry wounds….
In my last ayahuasca retreat in December, I had a profound experience of myself from a baby until adult, understanding where all the struggles and hardships came from…both from my mother, which was in a big grieving period when she got pregnant with me, because she lost the baby a month before he was supposed to be born. Shortly after I was conceived (the advice of the doctor, have a baby quickly, it will solve the grief).
I felt in my ayahuasca retreat how that advice had impacted my life deeply. And how much support, love and understanding I have needed, I am sure I was loved but there was no life energy in my mother, and as babies and children we need being surrounded by life energy so we are able to trust and have faith in life.
In the session my shaman wrapped be in her shawl and cradled me for hours like a mother and her baby, it was like I underwent decades of grief and at the same time received all what I needed in those life periods from my shaman. All our feelings are welcome, sadness, grief, anger, shame and so much more.
We carry with us traumas, stories and pain traveling through our lineage. If you dare to explore and heal the unseen of your family, meet yourself and the unseen parts, love them and love yourself, take your time…there is no need of hiding away anything from yourself, you need you.
Sometimes we need many rounds with the same wounds and traumas, and are staying in the survival mode, but one day we are at peace with it. We do this work to return to ourself, we do it to be able to love and share love, it is very brave to feel the unseen parts of ourself, to feel vulnerable and no matter how conscious your mind is, there will be parts of you who haven’t grown to that conscious level, it is okay, show yourself compassion and love…
you are enough
waiting, watching, connecting to a wellknown universe – you are sacred every moment in whatever you do and are, thinking it has to be in a certain way, ceremonially or a specific place, let go of that, every moment is our medicine, awaken, alive, in our heart there is nothing to do or be or…
uncertain
the uncomfortable feeling of being in-between the one I was and the one Im becoming expanding, stretching, shedding, evolving, less of the old – more of the new some days slow and silent, other days fast and loud, some something else there is no ready, just expression and allowing free your energy all of you…
owning who you are
be proud of who you are and have done, just remember you are not our accomplishments – you are your energy, your soul, what you are here, present, alive, in the world to experience it. not all people are qualified to tell you who you are sense the truth through your gut, no matter what…
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