In between

Deep contemplation lately

I took this photo at Joshua Tree Retreat in California 7 years ago, Aviaja, Inualife

The artistic, the creative, the unfolding is also a spiritual process; they go hand in hand. It requires inwardness and calm. There are things that are very difficult to attain if the mind is highly outward-focused. If it has to be outward, organizing, and in contact with a lot of people, that in itself will make a deeper inward process more difficult. This will probably apply to most people, without generalizing. When one reaches a point where one desires a more withdrawn and a contemplative life, one will choose to step away from these very extroverted positions because they will seem disruptive. One is on a different journey. I protect my root chakra, the peace, the stability, which is a very important part of being able to reach a certain depth in the spiritual growth.

When it is windy, it can be difficult to make conscious decisions. I have worked quite a lot on having a brake on myself so I can better manage moving in new directions. It also brings a freedom in life because we have lived through certain processes—some karma, others due to impulsivity and unconsidered decisions, (obligations have been a big part of my life ) and still others because we have not dared to feel ourselves. I am sure that I have had quite a number of life processes that I had to work my way through; regardless, I could not have changed them, no matter the choices and directions. I had to meet them and deal with them. But now a point of freedom has arrived where there are not so many considerations to take into account.

It is a very new place to stand in my consciousness and in my starting point with my life processes. There is an incredible amount of creative energy in my soul that has been lying there, waiting patiently for many, many years. I actually had an artistic career before my children was born and while they were very small, which had to be put on hold when I got divorced. The creativity is now beginning to be able to breathe again.

I love this step toward being able to create and being creative. A large part of my life I have been in a creative, generative process. It gives me life, movement and direction, it nourishes me, brings joy and is very meaningful to me. It has been sitting on the shelf for many, many years while there were life tasks to solve. Now I am freer to define my own tasks.

So, to support my own creative psyche, I have bought two large worktables that will be delivered later today, and I will then have 4.20m / 166 inches of workspace—pure luxury, I will upload a photo of my creative space when I have settled in. It will certainly stimulate and build up that side of me which is artistic and creative. Throughout my life, the periods when I have been highly creative have also been the periods where my spiritual development has grown tremendously. The two go hand in hand in my life.

It is a channel for my inner self, for my development, my artist within, but it also becomes a spiritual practice, a spiritual element in my own story.

The fact that parts of oneself are put aside, such as my artistic/creative side due to life circumstances, does not mean that they are not there. It is simply because one has to take care of other things in life, an aspect many people probably know. But we all have the opportunity at some point in life to bring forward those sides of ourselves that truly nourish us. For me, the above.

The artist is the feminine expression—the ability to stand in the feminine with strength, the fundamental feminine element, as the primal woman, the woman of nature, the original feminine energy, the strength that lies within it. I love connecting with it through the artistic path.

It ignites strength and energy, standing by oneself, deep inner work, women’s work, universal women’s work. It lies deep within my soul, and it has surfaced several times throughout my life. There is enormous spiritual development in connecting with that feminine power which is more universal (a power I have felt strongly in ayahuasca and plant medicine ceremonies in my recent years), where it manifests through cultures, the archetypal feminine energies—strong and powerful, while at the same time carrying gentleness and softness behind the strength—the primal energy, the core of origin through the feminine aspect, which contains diversity and many forms of expression.

I am not talking about man/woman; I am talking about the energy behind the masculine and the feminine. The world is very much outwardly built around the masculine, but we all need a balance of both energies.

And the artistic/creative has always helped me find a better balance, greater freedom in my own inner expression, and a better flow. You may have another area where you feel your expression and its flow. I know I have a great deal of developmental potential through the artistic, which connects even more deeply with the power I have just spoken about.

The strong woman is also the seer.

Creativity, creative power, the artist, the connection to the dynamic feminine energy, the raw, the shamanic, the seer—these are simply words that find their expression through creation. Perhaps you know it… Come with me and work on finding a manifesto for yourself and your surroundings, in your own way, through your own expression and form.

As a fulltime single mother with small children I expressed myself more through the written word through another blog – check it out here aviajaspace



Children

Remember that children are closer to life and being the soul they. Most of us have for many years been trained out of the natural way of being and our soul awareness. Although it is common we adults are expected to be the wise ones – we are given another opportunity to learn how to…

Which place are you in?

Perhaps you grew up in a dysfunctional home or have experienced a lot of difficulties in life, traumas, heartache, pain and struggles you will need to tell yourself and especially your thoughts and thought patterns that life can be good, it can be gentle, loving, full of good people, where you feel safe and experience…

Going home

When I was 12 years old I was between life and death, I tried to commit suicide because I couldn’t see any light anywhere, my life in my family was so difficult, my mother was mentally ill and an alcoholic and my father had left the home at the absolute worst time. It had been difficult since I was a little, but at 12 years old there had already been some very horrible years.

I was trying to help my little brother and mother, protecting and dealing with dailylife, but it was way too much. So I took a lot of pills and waited to died, I didn’t feel it was a call for help, I just needed relief from my life that suicide became my only and sincere solution. I was found by some classmates who couldn’t understand why I wasn’t at school (I was very dutiful), they found me and I was rushed to the hospital and saved in the last minute. I dont remember anything from being in-between life and death, but since then I recognize so much of what other people are telling after they have went through near death experiences.

Last year I was deeply connected with the whole experience in an ayahuasca ceremony.

I was seconds from being gone for good, its incredible that I didn’t die, a miracle I didn’t die in my attempt, there was so much light around me in my near death moment, there was a whole circle of shamanic Buddhist around me, singing, saying mantras, and keeping my energy system alive in the physical world, keeping me alive, so I didn’t leave for the other world, they were working from the spiritual world and they kept my energy system together until help arrived in the physical world, it was a gift of grace, a karmic gift that I didn’t died, from logical considerations I should have been gone.

After that experience I have had an increased sensitivity, I feel energy very strongly, in weather, in people and animals. Sometimes I feel the two worlds at the same time and spirit have paid me visits over the years (that already started when I was a small child). I get information in advance and see auras. Before my suicide attempt I was so young and not very materialistic, life was so messy at home that my focus was elsewhere, but after my suicide Im for sure non-materialistic. Spirituality and deep connections are very important for me and as much alonetime I can get.

Pain and suffering is awakening, it is part of becoming conscious, aware, it’s a tool for you. What have you learned in this life? When you are in your soul and you love something you become one with it, one …one…love, compassion, consciousness, we are one..



Gentle reminder

To live your life now, go after what you are longing and dreaming about, it doesn’t have to be the big things, it’s more a matter of being you. I have an old father with dementia and spending time with him reminds me to live now. His fading memory comes in waves, sometimes I think…

Becoming aligned

For living authentically, connect deeply and understand reality beyond you can be inspired by these lovely movies : Wisdom of Happiness with Dalai Lama, directed by Barbara Miller and Philip Delaquis, the Dalai Lama emphasizes compassion, mindfulness, and cultivating inner peace. Innsæi the power of intuition, by Icelandic Hrund Gunnsteinsdóttir, explores intuition as a form…

Be your own home

Love is feeling energized and aligned, love is also boundaries and self-respect, it is okay to feel lonely if you are the only one doing some inner work, the most important thing is to stay connected with yourself, we can care for others and have responsibilities, but your needs matters, learning your own needs and…

Passing through

Me in a buddhistic intensive retreat I Cologne – photo Thea D. Boldt

Most of the time we forget that we are just passing through this time and place, we get so caught up in dailylife, ego aspects, ups and downs that we don’t understand we are here to grow, to look at what is, we are here to open our hearts in every situation.

From time to time Im online listening to peoples personal stories having went through near death experiences (NDE) – all of them are saying we are here to let go of fear and learn how to forgive and love. It sounds so simple.

Through life and our life experiences we adapt and create so many layers dealing with life, that we little by little get far away from our true nature, our light – the nature we came with.

Connecting with our light how does the light feel like?

For me I feel at peace, I feel Im in the present moment, no matter how my life looks like (ups and downs), Im in a pure contact with myself and detached from my layers, roles, faces, strategies. No worrying, my heart feels so light, and I feel deep joy. I feel compassion towards other people (where as in dailylife I can see them very different), I have an understanding and awareness of my natural state. It feels very soft, gentle and expanded (I can only compare it to a state of deep meditation) everything feels like love.

Years ago when I got divorced (at the time I was also meditating 2-3 hours per day to ease up the circumstances) I had an opening (I have had many during my life since I was a child), I was in a pure state of joy and love for several weeks, everything felt as love, I can still laugh about how much love I felt from asphalt, and how crazy some people thought I was, when I tried to describe my state.

Simplicity, harmony, quiet, meaningful, connected with source, flow, authentic, soulful, slowly returning…to your heart.



allow yourself to feel and sense

Do what speaks to your soul, we don’t have to match others and to do what is correct, accepted, the proper thing or something and someone others can tolerate, just because they can’t see you or what you see doesn’t mean you need to change yourself to belong, to be loved, trusted, being part of…

meaning

When we are having traumas, survival strategies or repeating things in our life, it is our thoughts, memories, patterns and imagination we need to deal with. Past and future doesn´t exist, but we visit and revisit both of them over and over, and we have a specific response to them, and our response create our…

enjoy

If you are more curious about me, I have another blog called aviajaspace, I have had it since 2012, it is a joyful part of my life when my children where small, a blog where I could express my creative side in the evenings and still being at home…its very rare I post at my…

We are all ONE

Connecting with my inuit spiritual heritage have been on-off on my mind for many years. In Greenland we have had a very long tradition with shamans – called Angakok, the wise people of the settlement being able to travel and stay in both worlds, the earthly world and the spirit world. In Greenland we believe that everything is having a soul, the plants, the animals the weather, the people, everything, we call it Inua…

In Iceland they have a very present and alive tradition for honoring and respecting nature spirits when they are going to build new roads and houses…a much more alive belief system than in Greenland.

After the colonization from year of 900 to 1721 the shamanic tradition have been erased year by year in Greenland..but even in the last century and in our time there has been so much cultural genocide, ethnocide and forced assimilation. No doubt it has been difficult to keep our connection with our roots in all matters…

I still feel it happens systemic in Greenland in the public administration (I have been working there and with them through my own business) and elsewhere where people with a specific mindset rule , and now over the last year we have another threat from the outside…one crowd control after the other. I have been wondering over a long time how to deal with it within and how to be at service to change the pattern.

I sense in Greenland there is a need of a spiritual connection, which of course is a very personal matter, and people have started to claim parts of our traditions like inuit tattoos also called tunniit. My girls and I have them and through them feel more connected with our culture and spirituality. The tattoos were earlier connected with rites and passages, today I sense it’s more a matter of reconnecting and claiming something lost.

But how do we connect with something that hasn’t been kept alive for such a long time..I know there are a few people calling themselves shamans in Greenland and respect what they do, everything counts. But we do not have an unbroken line of shamanism in Greenland – there have been many years without our traditions (most places in Greenland it is hundreds of years without shamans, a few places at the east coast we have had some shamans in the last century). Some of their work have been documented by white people, but handing down the traditions haven’t happen for so many many years…so where to start, are we even able to start. This is not about reading about it, shamanism is alive and connecting with energy and spirit, the work is done in the moment.

I know similar fellow ingenious and native people from around the world are trying to keep their traditions alive in our busy mental world where facts are honored, but how do we deal with it in daily life keeping the ancestral lineage alive? This is not only for indigenous people, it is for all of us to ask the question, how do I walk this path in my earthy life, being a spiritual being, how do I go within, look for myself, who am I, how do I realize I am connected with everything and everybody, how do I understand we are one and that there is no separation.

No matter how foggy the path is, go within, start with yourself if you like to help others, start to go within, we live in an ego world, allow yourself to feel that we need each other, we are a unity.

A path is to understand that nature is therapy, walk through energy, and remember that the path is so much more than wounds, we all have strength and power and by going within we find our answers. It is not only about remembering it is also what we do in this moment, connecting with yourself and experiencing your own light…untangle yourself from everyday life and materialism – we all have a divine origin…



medicines

Different paths, different teachers, but what works the best you finding your own medicine, whatever form that is, you will sense it in your body, in your life, it is a matter of inviting in to your love all the things you love, start with the small things, it will grow, it will guide you…

Vacation journal

Yesterday I went straight from work to the beach with my girls, to celebrate my youngest daughter had passed the theorethic test for her drivers license and me having 3 weeks of vacation. So lovely to swim and laugh with them. Later I decided to stay in the City at my daughters home, because Im…

Meditation travel

From zero practice to daily two hours with presence in daily life. Is it possible? Is it realistic? To practice meditation on a daily basis require some planning, but mostly to built up gently and realistically so your practice will be:

sustainable, deep, physically integrated, spiritually grounded, a naturally part of your life

The goal is not just to be able to sit for two hours daily, but to:

regulate the nervous system, create inner silence, strengthen contact with intuition and soul, live more present, make meditation a way of life

Im for the moment trying to find back to a meditation practice that will work for me. When I had small children, I actually managed to meditate 2-3 hours per day, sitting on a cushion in deep practice…I went up early and sometimes I was sitting during the day. Then I got divorced and became a fulltime single mother and had to accept meditation had so be something different in my life.

In my current life Im not able to sit during the day and already commute at least 10 hours per week, and are a little hesitant with meditating in the train with all the energy from other people…

But some sort of morning and evening practice, and becoming more everyday present could be a good plan. I have so much more time now compared to when I had small children (my girls are 18 and 22 and one is already living by herself).

My inner self have been nudging me for quite a while to resume a practice. During my life I have had a meditation practice since I was 17 years old, even when I was as little as 5-6 years old I remember I had a deep need of spiritual connection (my family was atheist’)so it was not from my family I had the need, it came from within.

I love when I have established a routine, I love sitting on my cushion, being in silence, listening to my breath, feeling more grounded and having a more clear intention for the day.

Im also much better at feeling when I need pauses during the day, and are aware of the transition from one activity to another, instead of everything is just one long activity without pauses or presence, so more presence in the daily actions.

And lastly offering myself the evening meditation (short one, mornings are better for me) will definitely be good, so I meditate a little, make some reflections about the day, relax and from time to time become aware of my life.

To start up a practice you will go through fases and for a start it’s good to create a foundation and a rhythm – create continuity and to offer your nervous system some kind of safety is essential. Start to relate meditation with quietness and with coming home. Your body will let you know when its there, its calling you to meditate, you will sense it in your body..

In one way it is about discipline, but if you reframe it to “rhythm” then it feels different…if you miss one day you start up again the next day, no guilt, no “I failed”. You will need determination and willpower to deal with yourself, your feelings, thoughts and patterns.

Just remember this is not about achieving, the length or being the best to it, it is about you having time with you in the present moment

16 years ago I was spending 1 month in silence in France, at a buddhistic retreat, these are some of the photos from the retreat, we meditated daily from 6am to 9/10pm, sitting, walking, cooking, doing task’ in meditation…I would love to be in another month long silent meditation retreat..



relax and release

Sometimes when we experience feelings as fear or anxiety, our mind can push it out in the back so we forget about it, but the feeling is stored in the body. When we enter an environment, where the senses remind of that experience it activates our nervous system and our body react on it. That’s…

the soul in the space

Next week Im visiting a very very old and very large building from the 1700s, where I am asked to offer a house clearing and sense what is going on. I cannot write about where, what and who, but I really look forward to help. When they asked me if I was able to help…

Own your power

Letting go of victim mentality takes a lot of effort and work, to feel like a victim can be like having a friend you cling to, because that was the one you had through the rough periods in life and it helped you. But to see and release the victimhood and all of its stories,…

Home is where your cat is

It’s already 5 months ago our very loved and gentle familymember Balou died. We miss him so much every day…so much giving – so much love and laughter – Animals teach us a very pure love



Sleep is ignorance, awaken state is light

I have always had a lot of dream activity – in periods very clear and helpful messages I have used to guide myself through life. In this period where Im still in the Tibetan Dream and Sleep Yoga course, I had a dream some nights ago which I thought was interesting to write about. I…

Apply wisdom

Much of the world is build around and alongside the intellect and the rational, but how do we know what we know? Is knowledge solely something derived from measurement and the presentation of evidence, or can it also come from experience, intuition, dreams, relationships, and the direct experience of life? Many before me have probably…

Choosing yourself

I think we all know that if you want to help others you need to help yourself first. How do we help ourself? As children many of us feel loneliness, because our own parents had traumas, unhealed experiences either inherited or gained through their childhood, I think it is so common… I come from a…

Listen and Silent are the same



Languages in common

If people don’t understand our personal language, I would not compromise and try to fit in, nor would I as the one not understanding others focus on what I dont understand, instead I would look for languages we have in common. You may think it could be where we are born, languages, religions, our race…

weather magic

rain comes and go and water the plants and flowers – and the wind is reminding us that you may not see it, but you can sense it, we need all kind of weather to grow. We don’t always need to know what is going on, but we can decide if we want to see…

Soothe it all away

When you throw a stone in to the water, everything stir up, perhaps it gets muddy, and you have to wait for the stone to go to the bottom, and then the water becomes clear again. If you feel you always have had a lot of difficulties and struggles in life, it could be either…

Help yourself

to become more familiar with what is going on within, let go of “fixing” yourself.

A process where you slow down and allow yourself to breathe, where do you breathe? I tend to seek creativity, it’s my background and one of my doors to connect with my Soul. You can find your door by seeing what are you doing effortlessly in your life, so simple without even thinking about it.

It is okay to try different avenues and paths to align with yourself, adjusting and recalibrating, and in between give yourself space for tweaking, re-saddling direction and emerging with new truths.

Being You in Your process is to continuously feeling in to your own values and how you want your life, the right life is very personal.



Flying low today

Stretch for your consciousness, learn to relax, and the most important thing, love yourself, really love yourself, listen to your needs, listen to what you need to offer yourself this very moment. Today I worked from home, and later had an appointment with a friend, and the plan was to go to the beach and…

illusions

that something should have been in another way that you are not worth it fear running the show you don’t have time death you don´t have enough, money, ressources, etc. you are not in connection with yourself or others that you cannot handle or control it Remember you have so much power

So simple

I love my plants and all the insects visiting them, I always pick plants which I know the insects love, so they have something to choose between- every morning and evening I have a little routine with my plants, are they okay, do they need something, or just saying hi to the bees, sometimes it…

Follow your own river

Lately have I been re-practicing slowing down, because I felt it was building up at work, busyness, demands, limited time, feeling exhausted when I got home, fuzzy in my head, you probably know the feeling. So I have been very much aware of my plate of projects, and accepting I wasn’t able to help everyone…

Practice awakening

My Tibetan Dream and Sleep Yoga teacher is saying Life is a school where you learn how to remember, what your soul already knows Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche



Where body and Soul meets

Yesterday a dear friend of mine invited me to a morning talk at The Museum of Louisiana for a current exhibition about Lucian Freud. As I work with the soul, energy, and the inner landscape of human beings, I see Lucian Freud’s art as revealing how our life experiences are carried and expressed through the…

Pure open awareness

I have always had vivid dreams and a rich dreamlife. In periods I have been able to awake myself in my dream state and tell myself that I was dreaming, that’s funny, but not in the meaning of awakening up from my sleep, I just told myself in my dream state that I was dreaming…

Nature

Spring, my own photo, Aviaja, Inualife

Nature
Drop in to the rich space of nature.
It is an easy way to experience your heart.
You dont have to work hard for it, there is no one to forgive, nothing to achieve, no judgements to let go of or layers to shed.

Nature is Just like a breath – breathe in nature – breathe out – breathe in nature – breathe out..

🌸

 Aviâja,



In between

Deep contemplation lately The artistic, the creative, the unfolding is also a spiritual process; they go hand in hand. It requires inwardness and calm. There are things that are very difficult to attain if the mind is highly outward-focused. If it has to be outward, organizing, and in contact with a lot of people, that…

Going home

When I was 12 years old I was between life and death, I tried to commit suicide because I couldn’t see any light anywhere, my life in my family was so difficult, my mother was mentally ill and an alcoholic and my father had left the home at the absolute worst time. It had been…

Passing through

Most of the time we forget that we are just passing through this time and place, we get so caught up in dailylife, ego aspects, ups and downs that we don’t understand we are here to grow, to look at what is, we are here to open our hearts in every situation. From time to…



We are all ONE

Connecting with my inuit spiritual heritage have been on-off on my mind for many years. In Greenland we have had a very long tradition with shamans – called Angakok, the wise people of the settlement being able to travel and stay in both worlds, the earthly world and the spirit world. In Greenland we believe…

Meditation travel

From zero practice to daily two hours with presence in daily life. Is it possible? Is it realistic? To practice meditation on a daily basis require some planning, but mostly to built up gently and realistically so your practice will be: sustainable, deep, physically integrated, spiritually grounded, a naturally part of your life The goal…

Home is where your cat is

It’s already 5 months ago our very loved and gentle familymember Balou died. We miss him so much every day…so much giving – so much love and laughter – Animals teach us a very pure love