In between

Deep contemplation lately

I took this photo at Joshua Tree Retreat in California 7 years ago, Aviaja, Inualife

The artistic, the creative, the unfolding is also a spiritual process; they go hand in hand. It requires inwardness and calm. There are things that are very difficult to attain if the mind is highly outward-focused. If it has to be outward, organizing, and in contact with a lot of people, that in itself will make a deeper inward process more difficult. This will probably apply to most people, without generalizing. When one reaches a point where one desires a more withdrawn and a contemplative life, one will choose to step away from these very extroverted positions because they will seem disruptive. One is on a different journey. I protect my root chakra, the peace, the stability, which is a very important part of being able to reach a certain depth in the spiritual growth.

When it is windy, it can be difficult to make conscious decisions. I have worked quite a lot on having a brake on myself so I can better manage moving in new directions. It also brings a freedom in life because we have lived through certain processes—some karma, others due to impulsivity and unconsidered decisions, (obligations have been a big part of my life ) and still others because we have not dared to feel ourselves. I am sure that I have had quite a number of life processes that I had to work my way through; regardless, I could not have changed them, no matter the choices and directions. I had to meet them and deal with them. But now a point of freedom has arrived where there are not so many considerations to take into account.

It is a very new place to stand in my consciousness and in my starting point with my life processes. There is an incredible amount of creative energy in my soul that has been lying there, waiting patiently for many, many years. I actually had an artistic career before my children was born and while they were very small, which had to be put on hold when I got divorced. The creativity is now beginning to be able to breathe again.

I love this step toward being able to create and being creative. A large part of my life I have been in a creative, generative process. It gives me life, movement and direction, it nourishes me, brings joy and is very meaningful to me. It has been sitting on the shelf for many, many years while there were life tasks to solve. Now I am freer to define my own tasks.

So, to support my own creative psyche, I have bought two large worktables that will be delivered later today, and I will then have 4.20m / 166 inches of workspace—pure luxury, I will upload a photo of my creative space when I have settled in. It will certainly stimulate and build up that side of me which is artistic and creative. Throughout my life, the periods when I have been highly creative have also been the periods where my spiritual development has grown tremendously. The two go hand in hand in my life.

It is a channel for my inner self, for my development, my artist within, but it also becomes a spiritual practice, a spiritual element in my own story.

The fact that parts of oneself are put aside, such as my artistic/creative side due to life circumstances, does not mean that they are not there. It is simply because one has to take care of other things in life, an aspect many people probably know. But we all have the opportunity at some point in life to bring forward those sides of ourselves that truly nourish us. For me, the above.

The artist is the feminine expression—the ability to stand in the feminine with strength, the fundamental feminine element, as the primal woman, the woman of nature, the original feminine energy, the strength that lies within it. I love connecting with it through the artistic path.

It ignites strength and energy, standing by oneself, deep inner work, women’s work, universal women’s work. It lies deep within my soul, and it has surfaced several times throughout my life. There is enormous spiritual development in connecting with that feminine power which is more universal (a power I have felt strongly in ayahuasca and plant medicine ceremonies in my recent years), where it manifests through cultures, the archetypal feminine energies—strong and powerful, while at the same time carrying gentleness and softness behind the strength—the primal energy, the core of origin through the feminine aspect, which contains diversity and many forms of expression.

I am not talking about man/woman; I am talking about the energy behind the masculine and the feminine. The world is very much outwardly built around the masculine, but we all need a balance of both energies.

And the artistic/creative has always helped me find a better balance, greater freedom in my own inner expression, and a better flow. You may have another area where you feel your expression and its flow. I know I have a great deal of developmental potential through the artistic, which connects even more deeply with the power I have just spoken about.

The strong woman is also the seer.

Creativity, creative power, the artist, the connection to the dynamic feminine energy, the raw, the shamanic, the seer—these are simply words that find their expression through creation. Perhaps you know it… Come with me and work on finding a manifesto for yourself and your surroundings, in your own way, through your own expression and form.

As a fulltime single mother with small children I expressed myself more through the written word through another blog – check it out here aviajaspace



An energy walk

yesterday afternoon me and my youngest daughter went to The National Gallery of Denmark – SMK – to spent a lovely late afternoon/early evening and explore art together. I really love to experience modern art (I appreciate the older art indeed, and have been drawing a lot at all kinds of museums in Denmark and…

Fate

Just a little tip if you are in to spiritual advisors and have access to Disney+ see korean show Battle of Fates which is a competitive elimination show where 49 fortune-tellers, shamans, saju practitioners (traditional Korean birth-date divination), tarot readers, and face/foot readers compete in predictive challenges. If you can look through all the dramatic…

Coming home to yourself

Leave old patterns, where your place in the relationship are tied to what you give, or are taking responsibility for or for what you offer. Choose selflove instead of fear for being alone, choose selflove so you can be in relationships where you are chosen for the one you are – not for what you…

Going home

When I was 12 years old I was between life and death, I tried to commit suicide because I couldn’t see any light anywhere, my life in my family was so difficult, my mother was mentally ill and an alcoholic and my father had left the home at the absolute worst time. It had been difficult since I was a little, but at 12 years old there had already been some very horrible years.

I was trying to help my little brother and mother, protecting and dealing with dailylife, but it was way too much. So I took a lot of pills and waited to died, I didn’t feel it was a call for help, I just needed relief from my life that suicide became my only and sincere solution. I was found by some classmates who couldn’t understand why I wasn’t at school (I was very dutiful), they found me and I was rushed to the hospital and saved in the last minute. I dont remember anything from being in-between life and death, but since then I recognize so much of what other people are telling after they have went through near death experiences.

Last year I was deeply connected with the whole experience in an ayahuasca ceremony.

I was seconds from being gone for good, its incredible that I didn’t die, a miracle I didn’t die in my attempt, there was so much light around me in my near death moment, there was a whole circle of shamanic Buddhist around me, singing, saying mantras, and keeping my energy system alive in the physical world, keeping me alive, so I didn’t leave for the other world, they were working from the spiritual world and they kept my energy system together until help arrived in the physical world, it was a gift of grace, a karmic gift that I didn’t died, from logical considerations I should have been gone.

After that experience I have had an increased sensitivity, I feel energy very strongly, in weather, in people and animals. Sometimes I feel the two worlds at the same time and spirit have paid me visits over the years (that already started when I was a small child). I get information in advance and see auras. Before my suicide attempt I was so young and not very materialistic, life was so messy at home that my focus was elsewhere, but after my suicide Im for sure non-materialistic. Spirituality and deep connections are very important for me and as much alonetime I can get.

Pain and suffering is awakening, it is part of becoming conscious, aware, it’s a tool for you. What have you learned in this life? When you are in your soul and you love something you become one with it, one …one…love, compassion, consciousness, we are one..



You know when you have this feeling

What drives your energy? is it fear or is it a zest for life, joy and spontaneity? In our world of rules and hardship, there must be something that keeps our hearts beating. Wishes, dreams and determination – your heart should beat, beat for something that brings you joy, so your soul can sing. See…

Keep walking

What’s the worst thing that can happen? A lot can happen, also the worst things, we make mistakes, and it seems there is no reason for why the things happened, but there will be good days, you will share hugs and kisses, we can try to prepare ourself for life situations, but for the most…

take it easy

Rest is part of the selflove work In the start were perhaps not very good at it…its like a muscle we need to exercise step by step I still have periods where I realize I have forgotten to rest enough, being out of balance, where so many things outside myself have taken over my time…

Passing through

Me in a buddhistic intensive retreat I Cologne – photo Thea D. Boldt

Most of the time we forget that we are just passing through this time and place, we get so caught up in dailylife, ego aspects, ups and downs that we don’t understand we are here to grow, to look at what is, we are here to open our hearts in every situation.

From time to time Im online listening to peoples personal stories having went through near death experiences (NDE) – all of them are saying we are here to let go of fear and learn how to forgive and love. It sounds so simple.

Through life and our life experiences we adapt and create so many layers dealing with life, that we little by little get far away from our true nature, our light – the nature we came with.

Connecting with our light how does the light feel like?

For me I feel at peace, I feel Im in the present moment, no matter how my life looks like (ups and downs), Im in a pure contact with myself and detached from my layers, roles, faces, strategies. No worrying, my heart feels so light, and I feel deep joy. I feel compassion towards other people (where as in dailylife I can see them very different), I have an understanding and awareness of my natural state. It feels very soft, gentle and expanded (I can only compare it to a state of deep meditation) everything feels like love.

Years ago when I got divorced (at the time I was also meditating 2-3 hours per day to ease up the circumstances) I had an opening (I have had many during my life since I was a child), I was in a pure state of joy and love for several weeks, everything felt as love, I can still laugh about how much love I felt from asphalt, and how crazy some people thought I was, when I tried to describe my state.

Simplicity, harmony, quiet, meaningful, connected with source, flow, authentic, soulful, slowly returning…to your heart.



Return back to yourself

Love is healing Healing is love You need to take it easy, don’t think you have to make miracles for everybody I had a talk with someone yesterday in one of my interior projects, he had a lot of responsibility in his personal life and shared he had a tendency to think negatively – which…

that is how life is

“It is good to help people, but also allow time for you everyones journey is going back to themselves, going within, understanding selflove as well as love for others is the core of the journey some days more than others we need to go within and offer ourself some selflove, you are not mean or…

right now

Beautiful rich days, full of people, invitations, activities, sauna, champagne and swimming in the habour of Copenhagen at a friends party, long days with a lot of interior design work and projects, everything is working out for the good for the moment, lots of family time and beauty at the annual Mikaela marked in Helsingborg,…

We are all ONE

Connecting with my inuit spiritual heritage have been on-off on my mind for many years. In Greenland we have had a very long tradition with shamans – called Angakok, the wise people of the settlement being able to travel and stay in both worlds, the earthly world and the spirit world. In Greenland we believe that everything is having a soul, the plants, the animals the weather, the people, everything, we call it Inua…

In Iceland they have a very present and alive tradition for honoring and respecting nature spirits when they are going to build new roads and houses…a much more alive belief system than in Greenland.

After the colonization from year of 900 to 1721 the shamanic tradition have been erased year by year in Greenland..but even in the last century and in our time there has been so much cultural genocide, ethnocide and forced assimilation. No doubt it has been difficult to keep our connection with our roots in all matters…

I still feel it happens systemic in Greenland in the public administration (I have been working there and with them through my own business) and elsewhere where people with a specific mindset rule , and now over the last year we have another threat from the outside…one crowd control after the other. I have been wondering over a long time how to deal with it within and how to be at service to change the pattern.

I sense in Greenland there is a need of a spiritual connection, which of course is a very personal matter, and people have started to claim parts of our traditions like inuit tattoos also called tunniit. My girls and I have them and through them feel more connected with our culture and spirituality. The tattoos were earlier connected with rites and passages, today I sense it’s more a matter of reconnecting and claiming something lost.

But how do we connect with something that hasn’t been kept alive for such a long time..I know there are a few people calling themselves shamans in Greenland and respect what they do, everything counts. But we do not have an unbroken line of shamanism in Greenland – there have been many years without our traditions (most places in Greenland it is hundreds of years without shamans, a few places at the east coast we have had some shamans in the last century). Some of their work have been documented by white people, but handing down the traditions haven’t happen for so many many years…so where to start, are we even able to start. This is not about reading about it, shamanism is alive and connecting with energy and spirit, the work is done in the moment.

I know similar fellow ingenious and native people from around the world are trying to keep their traditions alive in our busy mental world where facts are honored, but how do we deal with it in daily life keeping the ancestral lineage alive? This is not only for indigenous people, it is for all of us to ask the question, how do I walk this path in my earthy life, being a spiritual being, how do I go within, look for myself, who am I, how do I realize I am connected with everything and everybody, how do I understand we are one and that there is no separation.

No matter how foggy the path is, go within, start with yourself if you like to help others, start to go within, we live in an ego world, allow yourself to feel that we need each other, we are a unity.

A path is to understand that nature is therapy, walk through energy, and remember that the path is so much more than wounds, we all have strength and power and by going within we find our answers. It is not only about remembering it is also what we do in this moment, connecting with yourself and experiencing your own light…untangle yourself from everyday life and materialism – we all have a divine origin…



carry yourself

Doing what is best for you and realizing you dont have to tolerate anything with anybody teach you how to keep inner peace. When you in the start have patience with other people, perhaps excuse them, later tolerate their behavior or hidden intentions, it’s actually self abandonment – keep those boundaries. At some point when…

messages from within

days with readings and sessions….tuning in, flashes, just knowing, quick images, honoring the nudges, other times very clear and strong messages that won’t leave me before the event has happened, no second guessing, I trust my intuition, seeing direct through ego pansers and what some people are trying to hide, spirit helps me, both my…

simple

this time of the year, warm colors, soft soil, plenty of fish, berries, reindeers, crisp air, winter is watching from a distance, welly time, filling up freezer, Mother Earth is generous, animals and people collecting in nature… people and traditions, not surrounded by this, these years, but my body remembers the season, the traditions, proudly…

Meditation travel

From zero practice to daily two hours with presence in daily life. Is it possible? Is it realistic? To practice meditation on a daily basis require some planning, but mostly to built up gently and realistically so your practice will be:

sustainable, deep, physically integrated, spiritually grounded, a naturally part of your life

The goal is not just to be able to sit for two hours daily, but to:

regulate the nervous system, create inner silence, strengthen contact with intuition and soul, live more present, make meditation a way of life

Im for the moment trying to find back to a meditation practice that will work for me. When I had small children, I actually managed to meditate 2-3 hours per day, sitting on a cushion in deep practice…I went up early and sometimes I was sitting during the day. Then I got divorced and became a fulltime single mother and had to accept meditation had so be something different in my life.

In my current life Im not able to sit during the day and already commute at least 10 hours per week, and are a little hesitant with meditating in the train with all the energy from other people…

But some sort of morning and evening practice, and becoming more everyday present could be a good plan. I have so much more time now compared to when I had small children (my girls are 18 and 22 and one is already living by herself).

My inner self have been nudging me for quite a while to resume a practice. During my life I have had a meditation practice since I was 17 years old, even when I was as little as 5-6 years old I remember I had a deep need of spiritual connection (my family was atheist’)so it was not from my family I had the need, it came from within.

I love when I have established a routine, I love sitting on my cushion, being in silence, listening to my breath, feeling more grounded and having a more clear intention for the day.

Im also much better at feeling when I need pauses during the day, and are aware of the transition from one activity to another, instead of everything is just one long activity without pauses or presence, so more presence in the daily actions.

And lastly offering myself the evening meditation (short one, mornings are better for me) will definitely be good, so I meditate a little, make some reflections about the day, relax and from time to time become aware of my life.

To start up a practice you will go through fases and for a start it’s good to create a foundation and a rhythm – create continuity and to offer your nervous system some kind of safety is essential. Start to relate meditation with quietness and with coming home. Your body will let you know when its there, its calling you to meditate, you will sense it in your body..

In one way it is about discipline, but if you reframe it to “rhythm” then it feels different…if you miss one day you start up again the next day, no guilt, no “I failed”. You will need determination and willpower to deal with yourself, your feelings, thoughts and patterns.

Just remember this is not about achieving, the length or being the best to it, it is about you having time with you in the present moment

16 years ago I was spending 1 month in silence in France, at a buddhistic retreat, these are some of the photos from the retreat, we meditated daily from 6am to 9/10pm, sitting, walking, cooking, doing task’ in meditation…I would love to be in another month long silent meditation retreat..



you are enough

waiting, watching, connecting to a wellknown universe – you are sacred every moment in whatever you do and are, thinking it has to be in a certain way, ceremonially or a specific place, let go of that, every moment is our medicine, awaken, alive, in our heart there is nothing to do or be or…

uncertain

the uncomfortable feeling of being in-between the one I was and the one Im becoming expanding, stretching, shedding, evolving, less of the old – more of the new some days slow and silent, other days fast and loud, some something else there is no ready, just expression and allowing free your energy all of you…

owning who you are

be proud of who you are and have done, just remember you are not our accomplishments – you are your energy, your soul, what you are here, present, alive, in the world to experience it. not all people are qualified to tell you who you are sense the truth through your gut, no matter what…

Home is where your cat is

It’s already 5 months ago our very loved and gentle familymember Balou died. We miss him so much every day…so much giving – so much love and laughter – Animals teach us a very pure love



Be open and curious

I have always loved to read, all kinds of literature – but for the last ten years it has mostly been non-fictional books, and I have felt I kind of had to relearn reading fictional books. I went to the library some days ago with my eldest daughter to pick up a non fictional book,…

…

Close your eyes Inhale, exhale Just be Feel your body, feel your heart Be yourself, no reaction to anything – not even your body and mind Just witness and become silent and quiet

Listen and Silent are the same



Maybe its time to…

I love how I feel inside when I knit…the tenderness, a calm and quiet feeling. I am knitting a lot for the moment, at home, in the train, sometimes at meetings…for me knitting are the opposite of busy and rushing, its something I do for me (although the knit is often gifts for others), its…

Mirror

Spiritual awakening doesn’t have to be grande and loud, extrovert and full of energy and bling bling, it doesn’t have to be together with a spiritual group or teacher, you dont even have to understand everything and see the big picture or find answers, sometimes it is so quiet and in your own company, feeling…

Help yourself

to become more familiar with what is going on within, let go of “fixing” yourself.

A process where you slow down and allow yourself to breathe, where do you breathe? I tend to seek creativity, it’s my background and one of my doors to connect with my Soul. You can find your door by seeing what are you doing effortlessly in your life, so simple without even thinking about it.

It is okay to try different avenues and paths to align with yourself, adjusting and recalibrating, and in between give yourself space for tweaking, re-saddling direction and emerging with new truths.

Being You in Your process is to continuously feeling in to your own values and how you want your life, the right life is very personal.



Just noticing

As some of you may know Im a professional interior designer and work with space in my dailylife. For me space is both the outer physical – but also something we experience, a felt and sensed experience, our intuition tapping in to the environment. We sense imprints from the past and what is going on…

The silence in the tent

Fear of being seen has not so much to do with exposing oneself to every situation being out of your comfort zone, but I want to look at it from another angle. In a natural state of Being we dare to be ourself all the time. The opposite is showing the world what we think…

fulfillment

A very lovely path to yourself is through a passion or leisure activity. What do you love to do? Cooking or baking, playing an instrument, something creative like writing, photography, painting, hiking, yoga, swimming, books, gardening, crafts…something that makes you relax, forget about time, something that feels like you and the thing you do are…

Where your life truly begins

Before writing this piece, I have had some days reflecting on different situations and experiences in my life, and my own habits and patterns through out my life. I realized that how easily we devote so much of our energy to understanding other people. Yet the more we analyze them, the further we often drift…

Ástin Sem Eftir Er

The Icelandic title for the movie the Love that Remains, I watched it last weekend and although the theme was about a family going through a separation over a year, there was something about the visual way it was browsing through family life and experiences, image by image, it reminded me so much about authentic…

Unseen to seen

don’t go back to the same empty well and expect water that include friendships, family members, work life and your relationship with yourself we all have old stories practiced for a long time some run a big part of our life depending on how many times we have practiced them inside of us. The way…

…



Moments of calm and love

is the title of the woman meditating by designer Anja Tverdokhlebova It’s so lovely her message with jewelries… It made me think, that the calmer you are the clearer you think, let things be, its a choice we make again and again, pause, you return to yourself, slow is powerful and strength, let go of…

Being seen

If you as a child have experienced not being loved, suffered abuse or have being abandoned at home or out there in your world, you may have created another and better world in your imagination, a world where you have felt love, care and being chosen. These imaginations continues as adults and are called potentials.…

A reminder

This was last year in Sweden, but a reminder to myself how simple and joyful life can be when you are being present, feeling joy, experiencing life openly with your heart…

Nature

Spring, my own photo, Aviaja, Inualife

Nature
Drop in to the rich space of nature.
It is an easy way to experience your heart.
You dont have to work hard for it, there is no one to forgive, nothing to achieve, no judgements to let go of or layers to shed.

Nature is Just like a breath – breathe in nature – breathe out – breathe in nature – breathe out..

🌸

 Aviâja,



Embracing celebration

feeling at home, meeting people I know, laughter, hugs, resting in this social circle, words of love and care, old traditions, casual, warmth finding back home in every area of my inner space, easy, sincere, honest, mind feeling lighter, my day have already started to feel softer, like nutrients, being met as the one I…

Our journey

What creates life and make us blossom, perhaps its a matter of… Love transformed into actionNot only feelings or words, but the small and meaningful actions that say: “I see you. You matter. I am here.” PresenceBeing fully present with the person in front of us, without constantly being trapped in what is missing or what…

So simple

Selflove, Helped my daughter to the airport and thought going to the beach and swim would be nice, so 7am I was in the ocean, lovely, now coffee and breakfast 💦☀️and just enjoying my morning..



The greatest spiritual task

“The greatest spiritual task is not to change the one who hurt us. It is to protect our own heart, so that the hurt is not passed on.” But perhaps there is also a deeper lesson hidden within all of this, a difficult lesson I have worked on for years in my personal life, gained…

…

The path to connection is through vulnerability and your energy is your gift, and you choose who have access to it…

seeing the unseen

language, being flexible, feeling inspired, change, explore, open your eyes, mind blowing, brutally honest, doing something within, changing life, make you think, other points of views, someones heart has purged the art, a gift, someone share themself and we sense them, its coming from the heart… Saturday we had a little afternoon in Sweden because…