Both my daughters have had birthday this week so out fine dining in Greenland, yesterday a birthday party at a friend here in Denmark, wonderful Marisol exhibition at Louisiana Museum some days ago, a little bit of scrap yarn knitting, enjoying my newly made hand poked tunniit tattoos, bringing home the warmest wool in the world – the muskox wool and some beautiful handmade ceramic cups made from my pottery teacher, (I managed to threw some clay while I was in Greenland, which I will pick up in my summer vacation) then all the lovely hours of playing a new cardgame with my loved ones, melting snow, icy outside, lots of birds singing, offering them some food, sleep and more sleep and some tv, tarot spreads, my world this week, I am not in the world, the world is within me, I am the world, enjoy your world, make it peaceful, beautiful and be in the moment…
this time of the year, warm colors, soft soil, plenty of fish, berries, reindeers, crisp air, winter is watching from a distance, welly time, filling up freezer, Mother Earth is generous, animals and people collecting in nature… people and traditions, not surrounded by this, these years, but my body remembers the season, the traditions, proudly…
waiting, watching, connecting to a wellknown universe – you are sacred every moment in whatever you do and are, thinking it has to be in a certain way, ceremonially or a specific place, let go of that, every moment is our medicine, awaken, alive, in our heart there is nothing to do or be or…
the uncomfortable feeling of being in-between the one I was and the one Im becoming expanding, stretching, shedding, evolving, less of the old – more of the new some days slow and silent, other days fast and loud, some something else there is no ready, just expression and allowing free your energy all of you…
Emotional unavailable people often gets attracted to people with a lot of light, like a moth to a flame…how come?
Sometimes light feels safe from a distance.
If you are emotional unavailable you often grew up with an inconsistent or an unpredictable caregiver, you lived in emotional scarcity . So you crave the light and the warmth, the safety, the regulation, the acceptance and the non-threatening, and gets attracted to light and how it makes you feel as if you can breathe again, but the backside of it is you don’t want to feel the vulnerability and the intimacy going along with it, because nobody taught you.
When you are emotional unavailable, the nervous system is unregulated and your avoidant pattern attracts expressive people or people with light so you can learn how to regulate your nervous system. The outcome is you feel desired, seen and alive…but for many too much closeness can also create a threat and flight response.
We are helped when we meet the light or an emotional alive person, because they help us uncover what we suppress ; grief, longing, tenderness and different needs. We all need deep connections, and if you for different reasons don´t allow yourself to become more, to become the version you are longing for, light will illuminate the avoided work which needs to be done. It can feel terrifying and stir up fight and flight responses when we see it in others and they get close.
The moth circles around the flame, comes close, pulls away and comes back again, and this flame and moth analogy creates a push pull dynamic, which can create intense attraction, sudden distance, confusion and highs and lows. The thing is, no one can heal someone who doesn’t choose to be healed, no matter how much light you have. The flame glows steadily, it doesn’t chase, doesn’t dim to accommodate and it burns no matter who comes near.
So being warm and emotional available is powerful and beautiful, but our light need some boundaries otherwise it will be self-sacrifice (been there several several times). A healthy connection is mutual vulnerability, responsibility, consistency and repair after a conflict. There is an energy imbalance if only one person is emotional awake.
If we look at it through a spiritual lens, an emotional unavailable person attracts a person with a lot of light, sometimes its soul activation others times its karmic relationships. The unavailable person gets reminded of who they can be by meeting the light or an open heart, it calls them forward and at the same time expose their shadow. For the light person is not the same as rescuing anyone or the shadow, it is purely meant to illuminate and let each person choose the next step.
This dynamic has been a huge part of my own journey, reflected again and again so I could understand the pattern and grow, both as a healer, but also in my own healing process- so when we walk, when we meet and get triggered in our emotions, when we recognize emotional unavailability in others ask yourself these questions :
Am I drawn to be the healer?
Do I feel alive when someone “needs” my light?
Where do I ignore red flags because I see potential?
What would it feel like to be chosen – fully and steadily?
Sometimes (in my case) the deeper healing for the “light carrier” is to be attracted to stability instead of intensity. You can stay open without over giving and holding space for everyone you meet, and sometimes ask yourself if you can allow others to hold you. The way you keep your light sacred and offer yourself selflove is to skip chasing, over explaining, rescuing and over functioning.
Your heart is not a public park – its your home, people can enter slowly, respect your space and contribute to its care…matching investment looks like this : when they show up you lean in, when they withdraw you step back, when they communicate you respond, when they go silent you dont chase…openness is not the problem, we just need some boundaries around it, structures around an open heart is good.
be proud of who you are and have done, just remember you are not our accomplishments – you are your energy, your soul, what you are here, present, alive, in the world to experience it. not all people are qualified to tell you who you are sense the truth through your gut, no matter what…
I have always loved to read, all kinds of literature – but for the last ten years it has mostly been non-fictional books, and I have felt I kind of had to relearn reading fictional books. I went to the library some days ago with my eldest daughter to pick up a non fictional book,…
Close your eyes Inhale, exhale Just be Feel your body, feel your heart Be yourself, no reaction to anything – not even your body and mind Just witness and become silent and quiet
My time in Kalaallit Nunaat (The land of the humans/Our land) brought such lightness, softness, and a sense of coming home for both me and my girls. Returning to the land that holds our roots can bring a deep level of healing and integration, and it is wonderful to know you feel the shift.
Roots doesn’t have to do with birthplaces, because we are many with a mixed culture and several countries in us…roots is where you feel at home, its about energy, and restoring your identity (not roles, expectations or performance) but more about becoming you, its about feeling connected with your soul and about alignment…
Its also a matter of feeling safe in your root environment, (and still so much can happen around you in the environment), but you feel safe, your nervous system are being regulated, for me it feels like im in my ancestral land and it feels so sacred for me, very emotional, I always feel my connection very deeply – in periods when I have lived outside, I haven’t traveled to Kalaallit Nunaat, because I felt if I returned I had to give up my dailylife…so in a way I have been avoiding my longing, or compromised for different reasons…
Every time I sense my inner mode shift to restoration mode, the light, the smells, the humidity, the landscape, the humans, the humour, the dialect, everything matters and help the stress hormones to drop. The feeling of connectedness to nature, family stories, lineage, Im a dot in a long lineage thread, stories told again and again…
Its also interesting how it awakens different feelings, im always crying when I travel back, tearing up easily, having overwhelming feelings of both sadness and joy, letting me know what I have missed, who I am (but in a way not able to fully express in the place I came from), the passing time.
This time I haven’t been home in my roots for nearly 6 years. Alongside the feelings of grief there is a strong feeling of gratitude, expansion of my heart, a feeling of quietness, balance and neutrality. I talked with a local, which also move back and forward between countries, and we talked about it and said : They are now in their Nuuk fase (capitol of Kalaallit Nunaat), it comes in waves what we need.
Connecting to our roots strengthen our authority, because we feel more clear about who we are and external noise loses it power, simpler choices, we act from core, not comparison.
Besides the emotional part there is another part, coming back to your spiritual frequency, you remember the energy and yourself, there is less fragmentation in you…
What parts of me softens or comes alive when I return to my roots – and how can I let that version of myself guide my life right now?
me at a friends home where we lived, feeling aligned and alive
I love how I feel inside when I knit…the tenderness, a calm and quiet feeling. I am knitting a lot for the moment, at home, in the train, sometimes at meetings…for me knitting are the opposite of busy and rushing, its something I do for me (although the knit is often gifts for others), its…
– my hands rich with Tunniit (Inuit hand Tattoos), energyfield feels free, feeling connected with the natural world, you don’t have to do anything to be loved, those who loves us (and loves themselves) see us with their hearts, they dont compare, they see our attributes qualities, no efforting, letting magic in…Be what you are…
I treasure my time with my girls in Greenland, uncomplicated, stable, consistent, being sure of each other and really love the deepfelt connection I had with one of my old dear friends, so much laughing, playing games, cooking and enjoying so much food together, deep talks, no explaining and no walls, quiet time, my friend invited and hosted our “old” meditation group – what an evening, timeless free flowing pure love – Im soft, I feel awesome, I don´t settle, no chasing and let me remind you again, we don’t need to do anything to be loved…we are love….
Spiritual awakening doesn’t have to be grande and loud, extrovert and full of energy and bling bling, it doesn’t have to be together with a spiritual group or teacher, you dont even have to understand everything and see the big picture or find answers, sometimes it is so quiet and in your own company, feeling…
As some of you may know Im a professional interior designer and work with space in my dailylife. For me space is both the outer physical – but also something we experience, a felt and sensed experience, our intuition tapping in to the environment. We sense imprints from the past and what is going on…
Fear of being seen has not so much to do with exposing oneself to every situation being out of your comfort zone, but I want to look at it from another angle. In a natural state of Being we dare to be ourself all the time. The opposite is showing the world what we think…
Twenty+ years ago I went on one month silent retreat in France, hours of quiet time, getting confronted with yourself 24/7…ego wants to control the whole situation, a lot of commenting, a lot of different thoughts and emotions arising from within, which haven’t been dealt with in dailylife…a lot of boredom and fantasies and the need of being entertained or just escape the quietness, …layers being peeled off and you meet yourself more authentic, more clear and in the now.
Part of the process is to surrender, surrender to yourself, surrender to the unknown, letting go of the control and the need of the outcome, its actual a big task/layer to get through…because throughout life we are told and affected what to do, perhaps we have images of the correct life, or trying to avoid situations and not wanting to repeat what we have seen..sitting there or walking around in silence is both a blessing and a difficult decluttering process where you cleanse yourself for all what is not you…
After one month in France in silence I felt the impact several months after, if I accidentally wasn’t in the present moment, I could easily tap into the silence within. My busy daily life with small children became such a blissful time, a lot of appreciation and joy no matter what was happening…and of course meditation in action…which is you in the present moment.
In a couple of days I will be in a similar environment, back home in Greenland where the vast nature doesn’t ask anything of you, no effort, and nowhere to hide for yourself, so you stop trying. You soften – You listen…
A very lovely path to yourself is through a passion or leisure activity. What do you love to do? Cooking or baking, playing an instrument, something creative like writing, photography, painting, hiking, yoga, swimming, books, gardening, crafts…something that makes you relax, forget about time, something that feels like you and the thing you do are…
Before writing this piece, I have had some days reflecting on different situations and experiences in my life, and my own habits and patterns through out my life. I realized that how easily we devote so much of our energy to understanding other people. Yet the more we analyze them, the further we often drift…
The Icelandic title for the movie the Love that Remains, I watched it last weekend and although the theme was about a family going through a separation over a year, there was something about the visual way it was browsing through family life and experiences, image by image, it reminded me so much about authentic…
and getting part of my soul back end of next week…filling up my lungs with fresh air, seeing beauty, feeling the gentleness and openness of people, eating plenty of fresh food (animals living a free life), and looking so much forward to hear the silence…my heart, my soul will be filled with light, walking slowly, no rush, no anxiety, reclaiming my energy, being cleansed, renewed, getting my power back, my spirit can breathe…moving without resistance as the taoist’ say…
Its family time, celebrating the birthday of my youngest daughter, meeting friends, seeing people I haven’t seen for nearly 6 years, haven’t been up north for almost 6 years…so it is going to be an emotional visit…with lots of laughter, sweet lovely people…and grande nature…feeling inside what has happened and changed in me since I left Greenland.
don’t go back to the same empty well and expect water that include friendships, family members, work life and your relationship with yourself we all have old stories practiced for a long time some run a big part of our life depending on how many times we have practiced them inside of us. The way…
is the title of the woman meditating by designer Anja Tverdokhlebova It’s so lovely her message with jewelries… It made me think, that the calmer you are the clearer you think, let things be, its a choice we make again and again, pause, you return to yourself, slow is powerful and strength, let go of…
If you as a child have experienced not being loved, suffered abuse or have being abandoned at home or out there in your world, you may have created another and better world in your imagination, a world where you have felt love, care and being chosen. These imaginations continues as adults and are called potentials.…
Copenhagen : So moving to feel supported and support my fellow greenlanders in Greenland today (me and my eldest daughter)…
The world support us, we want peace, and although we are less than 60.000 people in Greenland we are strong and never give up freedom 🇬🇱 we do it for our children, future and the world ✨
…There are so many who struggle to hold truth, perhaps a feeling of shame, especially within colonial relationships. The old power structures are falling—this is fully underway and has been for some time now… Some walk ahead to show those who have not yet integrated what we know as Inuit and Indigenous peoples… wisdom, the balance of nature, the spiritual… Truth exists even if it has not yet been acknowledged…
What can you do:
Be a rooted witness Do not shout louder But STAND FIRM Stay in the body Stay in the heart Stay in the truth—even without response
To be a witness is also an active energetic act, as long as you hold a field of clarity while others are not yet able to…
Remember to speak only where there is receptivity: Is this a place where the truth can land?
Do not be disturbed by all the noise—feel into your emotions in the body: anger, powerlessness, grief… they are all energy… let them move within you, let them express themselves through song, writing, movement— let the energy move…
Trust the work of silence… it is about carrying the energy, not explaining it…
Light a candle for those who carried the silence before us, our ancestors. I see you. You are not forgotten. Ask for support to carry the pressure of the present…
This was last year in Sweden, but a reminder to myself how simple and joyful life can be when you are being present, feeling joy, experiencing life openly with your heart…
feeling at home, meeting people I know, laughter, hugs, resting in this social circle, words of love and care, old traditions, casual, warmth finding back home in every area of my inner space, easy, sincere, honest, mind feeling lighter, my day have already started to feel softer, like nutrients, being met as the one I…
What creates life and make us blossom, perhaps its a matter of… Love transformed into actionNot only feelings or words, but the small and meaningful actions that say: “I see you. You matter. I am here.” PresenceBeing fully present with the person in front of us, without constantly being trapped in what is missing or what…
…my heart is broken, thank you to my sweetest, dearest Nuno – miss you so much and thank you for your very clear sign Tuesday where you died – thank you for all the gifts you have given us the last nearly 16 years, we will always be the four of us, although you are elsewhere now, I will miss you every day till we meet again…may you always be surrounded by love and light..
Selflove, Helped my daughter to the airport and thought going to the beach and swim would be nice, so 7am I was in the ocean, lovely, now coffee and breakfast 💦☀️and just enjoying my morning..
“The greatest spiritual task is not to change the one who hurt us. It is to protect our own heart, so that the hurt is not passed on.” But perhaps there is also a deeper lesson hidden within all of this, a difficult lesson I have worked on for years in my personal life, gained…
language, being flexible, feeling inspired, change, explore, open your eyes, mind blowing, brutally honest, doing something within, changing life, make you think, other points of views, someones heart has purged the art, a gift, someone share themself and we sense them, its coming from the heart… Saturday we had a little afternoon in Sweden because…
– give yourself some time each day to connect with yourself, sit in silence, spend some time outside in nature, pet your animal, talk with your spirit guide, hug your loved people or other things that nurture your soul…
Throughout our life we meet and face new and difficult situations, that require us to change and adapt. Look and seek help where ever you can and especially turn your focus inward – seek for the inner knowing of truth and guidance – your soul is having the wisdom you are looking for and remember…
INUA 